My Kids Love the Garbage Truck Like Kanye Loves Kanye

By: Anneliese Lawton

My boys are big fans of the garbage truck. Big fans.

You know how Kayne loves Kanye? That’s basically how my boys feel about the garbage truck. The garbage truck is king. The garbage truck is the centre of the universe. The garbage truck is Kanye.

Now, I always imagined what we would do if we came across their one true love in the flesh.

I imagined it would be as follows:

1. Wave.

2. Look.

3. Move on with our day.

But that’s not how kids work, friends. That’s not how Kanye loves Kanye.

When you meet your idol you gotta go all in. You don’t just wave and look. So today, when the garbage truck passed my little family and I on the street, I did what any sane mother would do and I chased that sucker through our entire neighbourhood while hauling my kids behind me in their wagon.

Now, before we move along, you should know – I was a track and field superstar ages 11-13. I had participation medals plastered all over my walls.But chasing a garbage truck in the dead of winter is an entirely different ball game. It’s no basic track and field meet.

First of all, the trail of garbage smell made me gag. Hard. I’m not sure what kind of trash my neighbours are throwing out but I have questions. Oh, and as I was gagging, the cold winter air was literally setting my lungs on fire. That’s normal right? 

As I gasped for stinky, cold air I continued to press on, hopping over puddles,  dragging 60 pounds, maybe 65 – there were full diapers – of impatient and ecstatic little boys in a not-exactly all terrain little red wagon behind me.

Finally, FINALLY, after brute force and determination we caught up to the darn garbage truck.

And wanna know what my boys did? Nothing. They did nothing.

They stood frozen in stardom.

They hardly made eye contact with the big, beautiful stinky beast before them.

And I nearly lost a lung.

Now, we’re back home. I’ve only thrown up once from over exertion and my boys haven’t stopped talking about the garbage truck we chased down this morning.

So, if you live in my neighbourhood and saw a lady in a big red coat running wild with a little red wagon behind her, that was me just trying to catch the garbage truck.

Anneliese is a Canadian wife, mother of three, and writer. She has bylines in Motherly, Today’s Parent, Pregnant Chicken, and more. You can find her on Instagram @annielawton_

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