New Mom, Who Dis? Season 1, Episode 4
A lovely stranger on the Internet once told me, “YOU’RE A MOM! START DRESSING LIKE ONE!” I just don’t know what that MEANS. So, in this episode of New Mom, Who Dis? I head to a seniors home to ask the most experienced moms I could find for help, guidance, and….a MOMMY MAKEOVER!
Before handing myself over to the gram-squad, vetran moms: Jean, Anne, Pat, and Margaret judge MY style and tell me what exactly I SHOULD (“slacks”) and SHOULD NOT (“mini-skirt”) be wearing… needless to say, they DON’T HOLD BACK.
The consensus: I look like a “business-woman”. Who conducts “street business”.
It’s time to let go of looking ‘young, cool, sexy” and start dressing LIKE A MOM- which is defined as: conservative, comfortable, practical, and MODEST.
Aka: no cleavage, no midriff, and no butt. Which leads me to the next part of the episode: traumatizing my favorite grandmas with a naked selfie of Kim Kardashian. You DON’T want to miss their reactions (which are ingrained in my memory forever.)
When it’s finally time for my makeover, the grandmas dress me in their finest mom attire: slacks, button up shirts, and decorative scarves – all the way from the 1950’s – as I WERK the runway in a matinee fashion show.
This may have been the MOST FUN I’ve ever had making an episode. I love these grandmas like they are my own and I think we can all agree, they make me look INCREDIBLE.
Hold onto your clip-on earrings, grab your apron, and get ready for this episode of New Mom, Who Dis?