I Hired a Baby Acting Coach

New Mom, Who Dis? Season 2, Episode 12

I once told a Hollywood Agent I was pregnant with twins. “Twins!” she said, “You’re birthing a GOLDMINE!” I had never thought about it quite like that, though she wasn’t wrong – all identical twins have the potential to be the next Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. So, before I launch Rio & Dray into stardom, I need to explore their FULL acting potential. That’s why on this episode of New Mom, Who Dis? I hire Kim Hopkins, a ‘child acting coach’… that I found on Yelp. 

Kim has worked with dozens of child actors and actresses. She’s even been on a set with *drumroll* the OLSEN TWINS.

I’ll hold for your applause.

Can she help my 2 year olds win their first Oscar? Can MY twins be THE twins of the twenty-first century? We hit the stage to find out if they have ‘it’.

What exactly is ‘it’, you ask? Let me lay it out for you, according to Kim:

  1. Your child must be adorable…and if they’re not adorable, ‘quirky’ will work.  

  2. Your child MUST have a great attention span… even at 2 years old.

  3. Your child must be able to “play the camera” – aka they have to channel the emotions REQUESTED of them towards the camera. 

  4. Your child has to dress up. Yes, wearing wigs and costumes effortlessly, is required. 

  5. Your child has to be able to SELL products, such as toothpaste – because all two-year-olds LOVE brushing their teeth. 

  6. Your child doesn’t know how to read? TEACH THEM – table reads are a MUST. 

  7. Lastly, your child must be able to rehearse without crying…unless otherwise directed.

NO PROBLEM, right? Wrong. As you can see,  I was SO. VERY. WRONG. Turns out my boys DO NOT have what it takes to release 19 straight-to-VHS classics, or even perform one scene, from one of said classics. SIGH. I guess we’ll stick to swimming lessons. 

Do you still think your child has what it takes to be a star? Would you EVER get them involved in showbusiness?  Let me know in the comments!